In the last weeks I was in India practicing under the guidance of the wonderful teacher Sharmila Desai in her beautiful and earthy shala Ashtanga Yoga Morjim. Taking this time, stepping out from daily responsibilities, not having plans for the day besides practice in the morning (the only similarity to my normal life, although I mostly practice alone at home), the calm and peaceful guidance of Sharmila, the healing power of all other practitioners breathing next to me, the sounds of abundant nature around, swimming in the Arabian Sea...was utterly sourcing and insightful for me: it allowed me to just be while not trying to be anywhere in particular - there was much time and space to let things unfold and to see a lot about the practice, and how much it has given to me and those around me.

One day after practice I came to reflect on how much has changed for the better in my life since I had started with this practice many years ago and how grateful I am for this practice and that I took and take it serious - this practice truly does transform and there is something to "tada drastuh svarupe vasthanam' - knowing / seeing your true nature.

In my past I was much driven to achieve outward goals and outward success leading to many titles and hard-to-achieve-trophies, I also could be found at any event and party (I know...if you didn't know me then this really does seem like I am writing about someone else....), didn't want to miss a thing and wanted to know (and liked by) everybody. I was pretty much all out there and my worst critic, I pushed my body and mind to perform at high stakes, analyze and rationalize (no pain no gain was something I ascribed too) while I had a rather poor relationship and understanding with and of myself and my true needs.

Lastly, not to forget, the observation of newcomers how powerful it is to learn the practice at one's own capacity and breath, all under one-on-one guidance with a teacher, herein really working together with a teacher. In our practice one learns the practice, step by step, with one-on-one guidance from a teacher while others do their practice in the same space.

One starts with the very basics....and slowly slowly practice reaches deeper levels and although still receiving guidance from the teacher, the practitioner also learns to be independent of the teacher. This requires a basic willingness to learn and be present rather than following a script and be led. It requires that the practitioner is doing her/his work, it makes the practitioner an agent rather than a follower.

This is very very powerful. We all have different bodies, minds, histories and needs - with a one fits all approach (which can be ascribed to frontal teaching, aka: led class) it's (more) difficult to scratch below the surface, cannot attend/start to understand their personal needs and really come to harness self-knowledge that comes from learning the tools and applying them yourself.  Everyone has a unique path, the same tools don't work for every path and may need to be adapted according;y.

Thus, the relationship between practitioner and student and the working together is very important for the process of yoga, to come to self-understanding and self-knowledge.  In some yoga studios (notice also how I call them studios and not schools) teachers don't even know the names of their students, the student's history (of possible illness and or injury), in most yoga studios there are 24/7 classes where different teachers teach their (led) classes and students attend to different classes / teachers ... so there is no way to really establish a student - teacher relationship, to know the students' needs. I am not saying that these classes are not beneficial, but it is inherently a very different way of teaching, being and learning. In our practice it is utmost important to see the person in front of us and to teach to the unique needs (and not to the ego) to who is in-front of us, this requires commitment of practitioners and teacher, of the practitioner to show up regularly and to do the work and of the teacher to be fully there with the practitioner and serve them as best as possible.

In modern society with all our convenient technologies, with our high standards of living and often-times exorbitant expectations on ourselves and the world around us, in this society where it is made easy for us to merely consume good and experiences and be out there with all senses, in this modern world it is utterly beneficial and powerful to take a little time every day to be and serve ourselves in the most basic yet powerful way. To be with our breath and listen inwards.

I often hear people say but how can I practice if I am restless or not calm already?
To start to practice one doesn't need to be in any particular way, one doesn't have to be calm, strong, flexible or young.
To start one simply has to make the choice to give some time back to oneself, to make that a frequent priority regardless of how one feels...
and the rest will come.

Most people start practice with an underlying sense of something in life being unfulfilled / some sort of disbalance / some sort of seeking for meaning and peace.
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No one ever started practice feeling all zen.

A healthy and joyful new year to all.  May this year be filled with all the treasures of the heart you may wish for.

I will write more about my wonderful experience in Sharmila's shala soon. Yes, I highly recommend practice there. Sharmila is a wonderful teacher and cares, she allows you to just be you, and the school and her teaching reflect that all is already inside and complete.

Recently, I attended a workshop by Michael Hamilton.  Michael practiced zen buddhism long before starting his asana yoga practice and study, which was influenced by different teachers in the Krishnamacharya lineage. During the workshop Michael Hamilton invited us to practically and theoretically explore subtle aspects that aid us to gain focus and rest the mind.  In the following, while talking about tristana, I will share some gems of this workshop with you - hopefully you may find (some of) this useful for your practice.

As you may know the practice of ashtanga yoga is drawn from 

1. Raja Yoga  - the practice of inward concentration 
2. and Hatha Yoga (the practice of physical awakening)  (In Ashtanga yoga we utilize Hatha yoga asanas in specialised sequences, just for the one's that just caught the ride...)

So, we set out with Ashtanga being a physical practice of inward concentration.
But what does this inward concentration mean? This aspect of the practice is also popping up in the Yoga Sutras, specifically YS2.46 [Shtira Sukam Asanam] - "The asana (as in while being in a pose) for yoga meditation should be steady, without movement, comfortable and stable in order to still the mind".  Stilling the monkey mind from it's thoughts is one hell of a task, luckily we have the concept of Tristana to help us gain focus and concentration.  

Tristana?  Yes!  Tristana means three-equal standing - on three "areas" that the mind can rest on to bind its attention and awarness.  Those three aspects of Tristana are: Gaze, sound of breath and internal alignment. 

A little bit about gaze, also referred to as drshti:

The gaze creates a gentle space of mind and has a soft, yet steady quaility. The softness of the gaze creates a feeling of compassion.  The gaze also allows us to form a relationship between our "inner" and "outer" worlds, as the gaze goes out but also takes in, and assimilates in-and output.  The art is to internalize the experience, i.e. not to project your ideas onto what you see, but seeing something as it is, without filters and conditioning; hereby allowing for a relationship between what comes in and out. Then, what you perceive is not as solid anymore, but rather becomes more transient and not to easily to grasp - exposing us to our own processes of conditioning.  Of course, this is difficult.  That's were a regular practice comes in, practicing objectivity (is of course not easy, but eventually brings benefits...).

The sound of the breath

The ujjayi breath, that we practice in ashtanga, is that slight constriction of the vocal cords. This subtle constriction allows more concentration to manipulate the flow of our breath.  Moderating our breath in a way that the phases of our breath become more consistent; with a consistent peak throughout the entire inhale and exhale, instead of peaking at the middle.
The breath also allows for expansion and making space; we can direct our breath to tense areas consciously, and subtly "create more space".
The sound of the ujjayi , an aspirant, resonant sound, should be loud enough for yourself to hear but not audible for anyone else.  If the sound is too loud, it is unnecessarily dehydrating for the practitioner, as it increases the digestive quality and therefore, takes energy away.  
Moreover, the sound increases concentration to not overstrain, and to be present.  At the same time, the sound of the breath enables us to feel more attuned / aware of our environment and finding ourselves in space as we move through space (the sound consists of vibrations moving through space).

Inner alignment (bandhas)

Inner alignment awakens us to our body.  If things are aligned a certain way, a certain impression in the mind is created and it is more likely to experience unsubjectivity as the mind becomes absorbed into the objects it is observing (i.e. the principles of alignment).  Thus, the mind becomes utterly concentrated and absorbed but fuzzy about the self (or the ego) as it becomes more integrated with it's surroundings.
The more this absorption / integration with one's surroundings is practiced, the more it becomes an imprint, and thereby, accessible to us, challenging our conditioning (samskaras). Saying this then, if practice is little, there is small residue of this imprinting process.  With more (and regular) practice, the relationship between cause and effect (consequences) fatigues; harnessing this, response patters can be adapted.

Altogether, alignment allows us to become aware of inner imprints, being aware of them we can check them and evaluate them.  The concept of Tristana is one example of rooting into the presence of what you do and let the mind rest in that presence.

During the led class on Friday several of us noticed that David extended the duration of time we spent in some poses, for example shoulderstand and headstand.  What was 15 counts for David G paralleled 30-something of mine (hmm....) - which made it challenging / uncomfortable mentally and physically.  Tremendously interesting this practice (as life): being confronted with something that does not fit our previous experience and existing schemes, it's easy to become a bit uncomfortable.  So let's challenge those schemes!

Some of us were then wondering about the idea behind holding asanas for different durations.  David was generous with his answer (this is great about him as a teacher, he really gives a lot).

David’s approach is to stay in an asana a little longer when it gets challenging.  Since it takes some time to get into an asana (especially the challenging ones) take a few more breaths for benefits and change to get rolling (A bit diverting from the topic of breath but also worthwhile mentioning:  Repeat the asanas that are challenging for you!).  Generally, five to eight breaths is good.  For some poses it may also be beneficial to stay even longer (very individual).

Not relying on the count per se gives us the opportunity to tune inwards.  When starting an ashtanga yoga mysore practice  the count of five breaths per pose is an important guide but slowly - as the practice matures - a more inward focus develops (and should develop).  David is not counting his breath during his practice as he wants to focus on the “inward stuff” and not to "how long the asana is taking". Thus,  counting, in a way, distracts us externally. 

Then, the length of the breath is different for different asanas, and thereby the breath is variable during one practice as all the different asanas together span the full extend of the breath. During the challenging poses the breath becomes more stiff (partly reflecting the quality of the mind: Something turns challenging, fear and panic are easy companions, as well as grunting (how about: kapotasana).  Herein, Guruji used to instruct students to “free breathing”. 
Moreover, the finishing poses are meant to rejuvenate the body, in this light a longer visit with shoulder and headstand makes sense then.

Another important notion is that there should not be any more movement / fidgeting once in the asana, the idea is to cultivate as much stillness when in the asana as possible.